Someone stole my gym shorts. Friday, at home, I went to take the clothes I’d worn out of my gym bag and the shorts weren’t there. I checked everywhere at home in case I absent mindedly took them out and forgot. Nope. I remembered that I had to pull them back out right before I’d left the gym to get my necklace from a pocket. So, most likely, in a hurry, I forgot to put them back in or they fell out as I picked up the bag. Either way, I checked the locker I’d used, every other locker in the vicinity, and the lost and found at the gym.
No gym shorts.
So now, the most likely answer is that I left them at the gym and someone decided they wanted my gym shorts………. My sweat soaked, hadn’t been washed in a couple work outs, smelly gym shorts. So, so very sweaty. I’d worn them in the sauna and they soaked so much sweat up.
Anyway, does this mean I might have a stalker now? Am I finally part of the club? Oh, I should get on the phone with Tay-Tay, that’s what Taylor Swift likes me to call her, and tell her I have a stalker from Lincoln now too. Maybe, right now, someone is sitting in their bedroom in front of a cardboard box that they painted to look like a sound board. They’re holding a banana like a microphone. And all this person is wearing is my sweaty pair of ten dollar Wal*Mart gym shorts. It’s every DJ’s dream come true.