Thug Ducks. That’s what I’m calling geese from now on. Why?
Because of their attitudes. You try to be nice to them, but they start hissing, honking, and swinging their heads on the ends of those long necks like some kind of medieval flail.
A couple weeks ago, I was getting gas in the middle of Kansas. Out of nowhere, the biggest cloud of Thug Ducks I’ve ever seen flew over us. They blocked out the sun. It was an omen.
Fast forward to yesterday morning. As I was getting a haircut, two Thug Ducks landed just outside the door and stared in at me while honking. I tried to be nice and said hi on my way out to my car.
Then I noticed that a family was cowering in fear down the sidewalk.
As I turned my car towards the lot exit, there they were again……… walking in front of my car without a care in the world. It was cute at first, but people needed to go places. I honked with my horn. Then I rolled down my window and honked with my mouth. They ignored me completely.
Then, 10 minutes later, 2 miles away, as I walked into a different building, they….. were…. there. It’s like they’d read my mind and somehow got there first. I confronted them. There was hissing and chest puffing and maybe I decided I was outnumbered. And maybe I slinked away, praying that they wouldn’t be waiting on my porch. In fact, I put out peanuts as payment to the squirrels to stand guard. So far it’s worked.