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We’re keeping Coach Cook!!!!!!

By Austin Michael May 29, 2024 | 7:55 PM

Coach Cook of the Nebraska volleyball team has deservedly gotten a contract extension until 2029. He also got a raise. Both of which I think are awesome. The only thing I don’t like is that the contract extension isn’t through 2129. We need to find a way to give him immortality or something similar. I know UNL does a lot of bio research and robotics. Is there a possibility of helping transition Coach Cook into a cyborg?

Another thing is his raise. He’s up to $825,000 a year. I think I overheard our sports director say he’s the highest paid women’s volleyball coach in the country. The man is worth much more. He continuously delivers superior performances unlike certain other multi-million dollar contracts that brought nothing but groans.

They also added in an extra $70,000 bonus that coach is going to buy a horse with. A horse named No. 415. I plan on letting you know more about that horse tomorrow night.

Read more about coach’s new contract at our sister station KLIN.