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Earth is spinning faster now. Not to be outdone, Mars attempts high jump record.

By Austin Michael Aug 2, 2022 | 6:55 PM

In today’s “We’re all doomed” news, the Earth is spinning faster than it ever has before. Because of that, June 29th was the shortest day ever in recorded history. It was a whopping 1.59 milliseconds short of 24 hours.

Now, you laugh, but even milliseconds add up. Back in the 70s, we were actually spinning slower than normal. Scientists made up for it by adding “leap seconds” into their equations. “Leap Seconds” are also a big part of the way software works because of built in timers. So, if the Earth continues to spin faster, everyone might have to drop the “Leap Second” and start using a “Negative Leap Second”. That in turn would really mess with some software. So, get ready for more Y2k style freak outs from the tin foil hat peeps.

What causes the change in spin? Nobody knows. The Earth has a slight wobble, but they think it could be from tides, earthquakes, winds on water, possibly weather patterns (I’m looking at you climate change). Either way, make sure to set your watch back 1.59 milliseconds tonight.