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My electric fireplace is possessed.

By Austin Michael Mar 21, 2023 | 6:55 PM

My electric fireplace is possessed. One of the bulbs exploded as I was sitting there the other night. I had to get needle nose pliers to jimmy the base out of the socket. I replaced the bulb. Then it emitted what smelled like burning rubber. Then there were these weird sounds and the entire set of top lights quit working. I tore it all apart and couldn’t find any signs or burnt wires or black streaks on the circuit board. I did find white powdery streaks that looked like they shot out the back of each bulb socket like fire out the back of a jet engine. I have no idea what that is.

            It has 4 other bulbs in the bottom, under the fake logs, that are working. The heater works. I suggested that we just run the fireplace with just those, but the more I think about it, the more I’m worried that I missed something and the whole thing will start a fire.

I suggested to Jenny that I could sell it at the Mother Of All Garage Sales. She’s afraid it’ll burn someone else’s house down. It’s not like I wouldn’t explain what’s going on with it. Maybe someone who is smart with electrical stuff would buy it at a cheap price. Then we could use that money towards a new one. Jenny’s already started looking. There are models where you can change the color of the flames a. Purple would be cool. Then I could put Prince on and sing along except it’d be “Purple flames…. Purple flames!”