I was today old when I found out that medalists at the Olympics get free swag that’s sort of like what celebrities get at award shows. Except that it’s not a bag. This year it’s a slim elongated box. And they don’t get free vacations, skin creams, or even bottles of swirled water.
You may have to look up what “swirled water” is. Or trust me when I say, to me, it’s silly.
Anyway, inside that box is a an Official Olympic Poster! Yay! The poster is designed by an acclaimed French artist who claims to have spent over 2,000 hours working on it. Regular, non-super human folk like us can order one online for $37.
As they say in bad commercials, “But wait, there’s more!” The medalists also get a plushie of the Olympic mascot The Phryges. It’s basically a hat. A soft, conical hat that you see a lot of people wearing in paintings portraying the French Revolution. So yeah, a cuddly……….. hat, which somehow seems exactly what you’d expect from France. A plushie, cuddly, hat.
And that, is the extent of their swag.